Because of the picture we made at the hospital last Thursday, we asked Bonnie, Yvette and Valou to come help us with some emotional stuff. We did energy work with my mom and dad, in which my mom was standing in my energy, my dad was the blockage that was holding me back (he actually kind of was the tumor), Bonnie was the team that is secretly always there to support me (more on that later), Valou was my ‘diamond’ (I guess you can say the most beautiful and shining version of me) and Yvette was the narrator. I had to place everyone in the room at a place that felt like they belonged to. You can actually see it as a kind of play you sometimes did at school; everyone has a place and a role.

After placing everyone in the room, I could sit down and just observe. And it was crazy what happened; my mom was standing in my energy and almost couldn’t stand on her legs because of the weight on her shoulders. My dad couldn’t move his legs and Valou was just standing there, shining. At first I couldn’t believe my eyes but after a while I realized that it was really how they were feeling. We went through the whole process and what came out was that the thing that was holding me back, was my believe of having to fit into some sort of system. I was scared to let go of the control, but when we were done, I realized how much I actually wanted to drop the control and just jump into all the ‘scary’ things and go traveling and not go to school anymore. I don’t know what is all possible but I don’t feel like I HAVE to go to school of that I HAVE to fit into some sort of system.

After this ‘session’ we danced to Born To Be Wild by Steppenwolf. Dancing has always been something I have been scared of because I feel like I look weird or something, but when I just let go of the control, I felt so much energy coming out and I was still holding back a little, but it felt amazing!!! BTW, everyone was dancing really weird, so that also helped me a little bit too, haha.

After that, I did a visualization with Yvette and Bonnie about my ‘team’. I went to a beautiful garden in my head where I was drinking tea with them. My team feels like a group of friends (there are four of them) that are a little bit like angels or souls that are there to support me. My garden felt really big, but I couldn’t really see anything else than the road to the fountain and a table next to the fountain where we drink tea. Of course, there are a lot of flowers ;).

I felt really relieved after this morning. Valou also gave me a stone massage and I took a nap afterwards.

3 things I’m grateful for today:

  • That I start to feel the love for small and good stuff
  • That my mom and dad participated in the energy work
  • That I let go!!!!!!

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