The last few days were, to be honest, not amazing. I could go outside, which is always really nice for a while, but I feel sick after a while. I’m having a hard time eating something. Keeping something inside when I eat is also really hard, with as result that I’m losing a lot of weight. I always wanted to lose weight, but now it’s getting kind of stressful. I did lose the water my body was holding onto, which was about 6 kilos. The headache makes it hard to stand, so I’m laying down most of the time. I also decided to just take the pills against sickness and the Paracetamol, which make me feel a little bit better.

Even though I’m not able to do a lot, I still feel pretty good by calling Yvette and Bonnie, having my family over and just having time for myself. My mom went to a course José Antonio gave (I told about his book a few times. Also, Irene works with him) where she learned how to use Shin Do (Shin Do is a Tibetan way of energy work, it’s kind of like Reiki). She did the first level (I don’t know how many there are exactly) and she came by the hospital at the end of the day. I was actually feeling a little shitty about the chemo for the first time. I felt like there was a reason I got sick and that chemo only helping the consequence of the disease. She was really excited about José and on Tuesday I go to the group healing (he heals about 25 people who are sick, including me!), so I asked her if they talked about the healing and if he could do something for me. She was really positive about what he all can do, so I’m really excited about it. Tomorrow I’m going home, which is really great because the hospital smells weird. Also, I miss my dogs haha.

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