The tiny little poop

When I was sitting on my bed today, drawing, I suddenly felt something small fall on my head. When I looked down, I saw that a tiny little poop fell on my head and then on the bed. I didn’t really get it, so I guess I just sat there (being really confused) looking at the poop for a few seconds. Then I looked up, because I realized it had to come from somewhere. I saw a gecko sitting there, looking a little funny at me. I don’t know how it works with gecko’s, but I feel like it also brings luck when one of those poops on your head (just like how it works with the birds).

Yesterday and today I worked on my website (I found some stuff I made to put on my ‘gallery’ page!!!), drew some things and made a few pictures of the flowers. I also went to a group meditation, which was really great because of the energy and I went to a puja. It is interesting to see how things work here and how the rituals go, so I feel like doing some more stuff like that here.

<I’ve been drawing a lot of butterflies

I was talking to my family this afternoon and my mom said I was talking a lot (sometimes, during breakfast/lunch/dinner, I don’t even have enough time to eat in the hour we usually eat). When I’m talking this much, it kind of feels like the words just keep coming and that I don’t have to think about them (actually, when I start thinking, I can’t remember what I was talking about haha). I have also been drawing and taking a lot of pictures the last two days and those things, next to the talking, make me feel like things are flowing waaay more in my whole system. I realized that my kapha was out of balance and now that I’m here and getting the medicines, drinking less water and thinking less, I feel like the more balance I get in my system by doing those things, the more things flow better.

So Ulisse told me a little bit about my planets a few days ago, which was really interesting. Yesterday, a guy who works in the centre, also looked at my planets and he told me a little more. All the stuff they told me actually didn’t really surprise me, but I realized today that it doesn’t really help me to look a few years ahead of me (with the good and the bad stuff). Because, if someone would tell me a year ago that I would get cancer, I would be really scared and I wouldn’t know what to do. But when I got the diagnose at the end of March, I was actually feeling better than I would ever expect. I guess this was because of two reasons: 1, I was emotionally and physically in a certain state that was right for that moment. I feel like opportunities come when you’re ready for them, even when it doesn’t look like it. 2, When I got the diagnose, I felt like I could handle whatever was going to happen, because I went into some sort of survival mode that made me feel like I had a LOT of energy.

So what I’m saying, is that it doesn’t help me to look too far ahead, because I’m now here in India. Whatever happens these days,  good or bad, will be fine. These things look really bad when they are not happening in your situation or in this moment yet, but they will be okay when it does happen. They will happen when you’re ready (even if you don’t know it) and you will react (and feel) better than you would ever expect.

I have a lot of time these days, so with everything I do I can just look at how I’m feeling and reacting. I started asking myself the question ‘why am I doing this to myself?’ (I got it out ‘Be Happier Than The Dalai Lama’) with almost everything I did and it helped me with the patterns I created over the years that are actually not feeling right for me anymore. It also helps with getting out of the victim role in a lot of situations, because you stop and look at yourself from a distance.


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