This weekend we were in Belgium (my sister, mom, Yvette and me) and went to Kiara Windrider for a session on Friday and workshops on Saturday and Sunday. He was telling us about how the frequency is rising and how almost everyone is going through a hard time now (a LOT of diseases, mental or physical). It’s like we’re going through the process of becoming a butterfly, but right now it’s dark and we don’t know what will happen when we come out of the cocoon. Only when we can trust life and accept changes (letting go of the old stuff that doesn’t work for us anymore), we can ride the wave and even enjoy it.
So we talked about this stuff the whole weekend and got some exercises to let things be. Turns out that your stomach is made to digest ‘bad’ energy/emotions and even transform it to love. I always wondered why babies, animals and nature were such an explosion of love and joy… I learned from Eric that things just want to be seen, then they can go. I learned from José that every morning we look for our thoughts and that we can choose not to.So this morning I woke up and instead of doing the usual (looking around, feeling good; looking around a little longer, feeling like shit because of all the thoughts and resistance against stuff), I immediately started with embracing stuff. I imagined my stomach just eating these things and being very happy about it. I honestly never felt this joyful waking up.
A few weeks ago when José was in Amsterdam again, I got a healing during a Rigpa 2 seminar. He asked me some questions that made me realize why I kept falling back into old stuff right when my body was healing itself. I found out that I was scared to fall back into depression again when I heal, so after some Rigpa I was feeling (after really confused in the first place) a lot more space. Now I’m making steps in embracing all of myself, knowing that everything eventually comes from love. I found out that with depression the key actually is to ‘just’ (I know, sounds easier than it usually is) express emotions. What helped me in this is making a way deeper connection with love/life/god and realizing that everything is part of a greater whole and that everything is already love. ‘Bad’ stuff (emotions, energy, thoughts, whatever) shows up to guide you closer to yourself.